Mental Health and Suicide Awareness

I know I'm a bit late getting this out, but we had a family emergency this last week. We're all good now! For those on my Facebook page, I have tried to post pictures of Clyde with our family this year. His accomplishments were important, but family is the most important "thing" in this life. The love and joy we share is beyond words sometimes. I have had a lot of encouragement and some flack for posting about mental illness and suicide in September. There are those who feel we are celebrating his death and not caring about him as a person. Let me set everyone straight on this topic. We as his wife and children continue to celebrate him, not the illness or suicide. Please be aware that because we discuss him and mental illness, we are in no way talking down about him. We just want to make others aware of the signs and release the stigma associated with mental illness and suicide. There are so many people out there who think that they are alone. They need to know there are others like us. We went or are going through the same emotions, the same problems, the same doctors, medication, and actions. I have family members thinking we are celebrating his death and demeaning his memory. That is NOT the case. We celebrate his life and love our memories of him. We look through his scrapbook and talk to each other. We let his grandchildren know about him and the things he did. There is no "magic cure" for mental illness. It takes hard work and perseverance just to accomplish small tasks some days. We understand and accept the limitations that go with it. We love the people, not forgetting that sometimes, they can't show their love for us. Being a family helps us to work through our issues and allows us to grow. If you or someone you love has a mental illness, talk to the people at NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). Never let a friend or loved one with suicidal thoughts alone. We encourage talking and writing about Clyde. His grandchildren know stories and often see pictures of him. I have a very prominent family picture in my living room as well as our wedding picture. The older grandchildren know of his illness and suicide; the younger ones know that he was sick for a long time and died. As the years go by the dynamics of our grief change, but the love we have for him does not. My oldest once said that celebrating has different meanings, we do not have a party and dance on his grave. We tell stories of happy times and remember the quirkiness that was their father. Believe it or not he had a small collection of hats! Two were straw, two were bucket hats, and one was for scouting. He had half our bedroom full of ham radio equipment and books he was reading. He loved lasagna, vanilla ice cream, cream soda, and hot salsa. His favorite color was blue in any shade. We cannot, however, ignore his illness or death. The more we share, the more others have a chance to prevent the loss in their lives. Mental illness is so prevalent in today's society that one in every five families are affected. Count the houses on your street and determine the number for yourselves. I have heard a lot of comments on how suicide is the coward's way out; and for some it is, but for others, it is the release of pain-years of built up agony. And for one brief moment in time, they give in to that agony. The results are like ripples on a pond. I can't tell you how many people to this day will come up to me at the store and tell me about how they remember Clyde. I have had everyone from cashiers (he had him in scouting) to people he worked with talk about how much they miss him and how he had such a great mind. It has been twelve years since my husband chose to end his life. We as a family discuss him frequently. We are open and honest about our situation. We do not fear the stigma. We are united in keeping his memory alive and making this world a better place for his grandchildren. Thank you to all our friends and family members for helping us in this endeavor. And thank you to all of our new friends for taking the time to ask questions and help us heal. Each September we post because we love; and we love because we are loved. I have notice more and more family and friends post the suicide hot line numbers, THANK YOU! Our goal is to help as many people as possible understand and remove the stigma of mental illness and suicide. "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all!"